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What to eat in a day, Syracuse edition

Nora Benko | Illustration Editor

When students are forced to fend for themselves, they don’t usually make the healthiest choices. Whether you’re eating expired Cheez-Its or undercooked eggs, our humor columnist can relate.

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When I think of Syracuse, I think of one thing: excellent cuisine. Just kidding!

This year I do not have a meal plan. While this means saving money, this also means cooking for myself, buying food for myself and begging my mommy to send me leftovers (like a real grown-up). For the other students in the same predicament as me, I figured I’d go through my typical “What I Eat in a Day” as a student at Syracuse University.

For breakfast, I like to go into my beautiful South Campus kitchen. While in there, I whip up the only thing I know how to cook: scrambled eggs. Sure, they taste like dog vomit and also look like dog vomit, but I made them. I eat them proudly.

I like to accompany the meal with a nice cup of coffee to wake me up. That’s right, I mean a seven-dollar iced latte from Starbucks that is not even close to being economically efficient. It is also 90 percent milk and sugar and 10 percent actual coffee, so it makes me more bloated and grouchy than awake. But it’s yummy, and I got out of bed this morning like a champ and was only five minutes late to my 9:30 a.m. lecture.



For lunch, I come to realize that I have no money in my bank account after my Starbucks splurge, so I satisfy my craving for actual food by chewing on the inside of my cheek. And look at that! There’s even a piece of leftover scrambled egg in my back right molar. Yum!

My afternoon snack comes around 2:30 p.m. when I find a half-eaten bag of Cheez-Its at the bottom of my backpack. Score! They are so stale that they feel like chewing on a paper straw, but they’ll do the trick. I scarf those down in about ten seconds and then wish I had taken time to savor them, but oh well.

For dinner, I ask a freshman who slightly resembles me to give me their ID so I can go into the dining hall and get a few egg rolls and a brownie (my favorite meal from the days of my youth). They are hesitant at first, but after I get on my knees and start crying, they are understanding. However, when I go into the dining hall, they have neither egg rolls nor brownies. I quickly get overwhelmed over the fact that I have to now pick something else, and settle for half of a plain bagel with no toppings. While it is not quite as delicious as it sounds, it’s fine.

I always look forward to my bedtime snack. Usually, it’s something like chips or ice cream, but today I have neither of those, so I ate a spoonful of ketchup.

Well, it’s been a great day full of good eats! Now it’s time to hit the hay and do it all again the next day.

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